Being Comfortable May Not Bring You Comfort

World, I want to leave you better

I want my life to matter

I am afraid I have no purpose here

I watch the news on TV

Abandon myself daily

I am afraid to let you see the real me

Rain it falls, rain it falls

Pouring on me

And the rain it falls, rain it falls

Sowing the seeds of love and hope, love and hope

We don't have to stay here, stuck in the weeds

Have I the courage to change?

Have I the courage to change?

Have I the courage to change today? 

Courage to Change - Sia

Spanning years from 1928 to 1948, taking place in Brooklyn, New York, this story is comprised of ‘5 books’. It starts off by introducing childhood friends Sophia and Antonia who grew up next door to each other and have lived their lives quite similarly. Both of their fathers were apart of the New York mafia, and when I say they grew up next to each other, I mean they were as close as houses could get; they shared a wall. They were practically forced to be friends, but the one thing that I think solidified their friendship was the loneliness they both felt. As we walk through the story of Sophia and Antonia’s lives, we learn how friendship, love and family can shape a person as well as lead them to what they truly value in life.

During the early years of this story, we learn that the two girls were truly forced together. In elementary school, they only had each other because every other student didn’t trust them due to their families’ reputations. They come to terms with each other, and within that they grew a strong bond, despite being the exact opposites of each other.

As a major start to their story, Antonia’s life gets thrown for a loop when her father, Carlo, ‘disappears’ and this alters how Antonia lives as well as her mother. Her mother is forever changed, and that parental role has now fallen on Antonia unwillingly forcing Antonia to grow up faster than usual and take care of her mother. Antonia’s mother has a strong opinion on blaming ‘the Family’ for her husband’s disappearance, but Antonia thinks they in turn need the help of ‘the Family’ to survive. On the flip side, Sophia’s father, Joey, gets a sort of ‘promotion’ when the mob boss, Tommy Fianzo, sets him up with an independent business. This puts into perspective for Sophia, that she does not want anything to do with ‘the Family’. Sophia ends up falling in love with someone outside the family, a German Jewish refuge. Joey ends up hiring Sophia’s love interest so that throws Sophia back into the life she tries so hard to get away from.

We learn the specific characteristics of each of the girls while we read about them growing up as well. Sophia grew up to be very impulsive and popular, while Antonia always had her nose stuck in a book and became quite an over thinker. We learn how Sophia and Antonia drifted away from each other during school, how they both fell in love then come back together with their shared experiences of the war and falling in love, which then brings us to their direct roles within ‘the Family.’

Both Sophia and Antonia tried to fight the gender norms brought before them in 1930s New York, such as forcing to marry within ‘the Family’, or marry in general, have children and be expected to be the dutiful wife living at home. As the story goes, us as readers, we realize that both women wish for something more, but due to the lives they are apart of, they each are forced back into the traditional gender roles they tried to get away from. The way Krupitsky puts a main focus on the many limitations for women in that time as well as how women were treated not only just by their husbands, but by society. Krupisky focuses especially on how difficult it was for women to gain their own independence which is something I value when picking and reading a book. Mentioning the uncertainty of motherhood as a whole and whether or not it is in the cards for Sophia and Antonia showcases what a topic of conversation it was in the 1930s as well. Krupitsky didn't add that topic in as a filler, it was added in so readers could realize the struggles women faced in that time. It shines a light on how women were treated and how, hopefully, we have improved in modern times.

To that point, I want to talk about my song choice. Courage to Change I think puts into perspective both Sophia and Antonia’s inner thoughts with wanting to break free from the confines of ‘the Family’ while also understanding that they would not be where they are and/or alive without the protection of the family. They both question their adult lives, how they got to where they are, and if they both have the strength and courage to alter their path; whether that be leaving ‘the Family’ or staying and becoming pillars. It begs the question though of if being involved in ‘the Family’ and obtaining protection is worth the danger they are being protected from? 

I related that concept to a very simple question of did the chicken or the egg come first? This relates to Sophia and Antonia’s situation because the danger they have in their lives is due to ‘the Family’, but then ‘the Family’ aids protection, all because of the lives they were born into. How confusing is that. It truly does show that even though protection might bring you comfort or piece of mind, but thinking of how you can escape that comfort and free yourself truly is a whole other beast indeed.

My overall rating for this story is a 4 out of 5. The story was very beautifully written by showing us two lives morphed together into one and the ending was thrilling to be sure, but my main concern was I felt like the author rushed the closure. Which seems to be the opposite of the beginning of the story. At the beginning I felt like it started off slow and it was hard for me to focus and get into the story, but once it picked up I couldn't put my book down. The rushed closure was more so of a conflict within ‘the Family’, with both of the girls husbands, and the way the conflict was solved put a downer on the story in total though I must say. Throughout most of the book, the battles the girls were fighting felt powerful and exhilarating, but as a reader this particular ending lacked the confidence the girls gained as adults within the experiences life threw at them. It felt like both girls were stuck again in the way they grew up and as a reader who loves when a plot line comes to a close, this seemed like there were still holes left to fill.

All in all, I enjoyed the different perspectives of an interesting family dynamic as well as the constant question of is this the life I wished for myself? If you are unsure about that answer, do what I do, pick up a book and immerse yourself in different character’s lives. One of them is bound to help you answer your question.