Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman

Make my way through the motions, I try to ignore it

But home's looking farther the closer I get

Don't know why I can't see the end

Is it over yet? Hmm

A short leash and a short fuse don't match

They tell me it ain't that bad, now don't you overreact

So I just hold my breath, don't know why

I can't see the sun when young should be fun 

And I guess the bad can get better

Gotta be wrong before it's right

Every happy phrase engraved in my mind

And I've always been a go-getter

There's truth in every word I write

But still the growing pains, growing pains

They're keeping me up at night

Growing Pains - Alessia Cara

Set in 1930s Denver, Colorado, our protagonist Luz ‘Little Light’ Lopez battles the need to survive, family fall-outs, love and the everyday hardships that came within living in the 1930s American West as a woman of color.

Luz is a young woman, 17-years-old, who works as a tea leaf reader as well as a laundress. She lives with her aunt and brother, but once her brother is run out of town, it is now up to Luz and her aunt to make ends meet and ‘grow up’. Luz gets a new job as a secretary at a law firm, run by her childhood crush, and ends up in a love triangle between said boss and a musician she has met on a night out. Throughout the story, we learn that Luz battles with overcoming adversity, the impact of family secrets coming to light, love and loss, and struggles with finding her own identity, as well as the author flashes back to Luz’s ancestors who we learn a little bit about.

Such a topic of conversation in this book is the treatment of indigenous and hispanic people in the 1900s. Learning about their struggles is something that brought to light how little I know on the subject. I thought I learned about this in school, but reading stories of the ‘Lost Territory’ put into perspective that no matter how much you think you know about something, you can always learn more. Open up your mind and your heart for the topics that need to be discussed even if they don’t directly effect you or if it’s a tough topic to hear. I think that is what the author wanted to bring attention to. Of course, it is a story meant to allow the readers to escape into a different narrative, but this story is also something that reminds you to never forget the past, otherwise we can repeat it in the future. 

Now this story covers two different topics. One is the treatment of indigenous and hispanic people in the 1900s, and then the author throws in the emotional toll of Luz dealing with a love triangle. That love triangle consisting of being that she either has to choose between a musician on the run from being deported, or a boss man who spends his time in restaurants that won’t serve customers with Luz’s skin color. There was a particular scene that showcases how these two themes are paired side-by-side. During a KKK riot, Luz and her boss, David, are trapped in his office and they start ‘messing around’ romantically, and Luz even states that David would take her virginity right then and there, while ‘in the middle of a Klan march.’ Luz then puts an end to the encounter and as a reader it really put into perspective how an author will force issues to live side by side in a story. Whether it was what the author intended, but I looked at that encounter of Luz trying to decide between a man who feels like he can take whatever he wants from her, but Luz not having the ability to live the life she should, due to the injustice system she experiences everyday. 

Growing Pains showcases Luz’s struggle with being forced into adulthood and facing all of the so called ‘growing pains’ of her life. Whether that be coping with the absence of her brother, the need to grow up fast and take care of herself, or the love that starts to make its way into her life, forcing her to make choices she never thought she would need to make. As a reader, you see how this speaks to Luz’s inner thoughts dealing with trusting her family and secrets that come to light as well as, her inner turmoil of the more she discovers about her family, and the more she wishes to save their legacy while also fighting with herself.

Overall I would rate this book a 3.5 out of 5. The reason being why is it lower than my usual ratings is because there were parts of the story added in that didn’t mesh well or make sense as a reader. Throughout the story, there were ‘flashback’ sequences telling the reader about Luz’s grandparents. One story is about Luz’s grandmother who ran away with the circus as a sharpshooter where she met her first husband, and who then was killed due to a bear attack. It follows her meeting her next husband, Luz’s grandfather, who she helps open up a theater, that in turn slowly becomes infiltrated. The story then goes back to Luz’s life and even though we pop back and forth between Luz and her ancestors, it can be a bit confusing for the reader. The story of Luz’s ancestors frustrated me a little bit because it genuinely took me a while to connect the ancestor’s story to Luz’s present day life. I wish the author did a deeper dive on Luz’s ancestors and thoroughly explained the changes of how exactly Luz’s life came to be. 

As well as the confusing ancestor story, I felt like there was a lot of emphasis on Luz’s love triangle to really grasp the importance of the struggles within racism during that time. It seemed to me that the author placed the love triangle in the story just to have a love conflict. I understand that the aspect of a protagonist dealing with a love conflict is a push of another example of Luz 'growing up', but I don’t think that there was enough backstory or enough passion to really make the love triangle real and have pull in the story. It felt like an add on just for the sake of spicing up a plot line. I would have rather read about one love interest who challenges Luz as a person, or what she believes in, or even going as far to be apart of the ‘lies’ she is being told. Something that was woven together within the plot line would have been more interesting to read.

That being said, I did enjoy Luz’s relationship with her brother and learning more about him as a snake charmer, as well as the relationship with Luz’s aunt. Luz was a complex character that struggled with a lot in this book, whether it be who she is, who she loves, who she should believe, and where she should go in her life moving forward. There were a lot of moving parts that brought interest as a reader and I enjoyed the history that came along with it.